Stacy, Kelly and Deb came up to see Lincoln on Good Friday. Deb brought him a stuffed bunny for Easter. We had a really nice visit. Kelly and Stacy shared a lot with me about a book called, "On Becoming Baby Wise." They have both adopted this parenting style for their children and have had great success with it. I had never heard of it but after they shared with me how much it has helped them get a routine going with their kids I decided to check it out. I picked up the book the next day and spent Saturday and Sunday reading it. The book focuses on what is called PDF, Parent Directed Feedings. It instructs new moms to feed every 3 hours and watch the babies cues to see when they are hungry. There are theories out there that tell you to watch the clock only and then others that tell you to feed them whenever they root or seem hungry. This theory instructs the new mother to combine the two. It also teaches to have the baby feed, wake and then sleep. If you feed the baby every 3 hours for about a half hour at a time then there are 2 1/2 hours in between, so for half of that they are awake and then they take a nap. It is hard to keep an infant awake for an hour but this theory teaches that if you implement this pattern they should be sleeping through the night by 7 or 8 weeks. I have been trying to implement this with Lincoln. It is very, very hard to lay him down for a nap and walk away. The author says that an infant can cry up to 20 minutes without harm. I can't imagine letting him cry for 20 minutes. I have been able to go for about 12 so far!
As a mother today I feel like you have to choose a parenting style to follow. It is almost like a cult! You are either a Baby Wise mom or a Happiest kid on the block follower or.....There are just so many books out there and so many different opinions on how children should be raised starting from the day they are born. I have mentioned to a few other moms that I am using the Baby Wise theories and they just give me a look and then proceed to tell me what book and what Dr they are following. It is very stressful to me. I have other moms that tell me to throw all of that out the window and just do what I think is right. There are certain theories I know I can weed out, so at least I have that figured out. There is a parenting style called Attached parenting and they believe that you should never put your baby down. You should carry them at all times. I know for sure this is not for me. Believe me it is hard to put Lincoln down but I also know that he needs to stretch sometimes and I need to have my hands free to do things.
Stacy and I went down to Kelly's house in Castle Rock for a play date on Friday the 28th. I asked them lots of questions about the Baby Wise book. They were a lot of help and they were very reassuring to me that I was doing a good job with Lincoln and that it is normal to be stressed out in the beginning. I feel very blessed to have Stacy and Kelly in my life. I do not have any sisters of my own but I consider them my sisters.
I have only had a week to try the Baby Wise theory and I am going to let it go when Lincoln's Mia and Papa are here because I really want them to enjoy every minute of him while they are here. I want them to be able to hold him as much as they want! I will have to work on getting back on track after they head back to Florida.
It is amazing how fast time goes. I feel like I am so behind already when it comes to implementing these theories. I hadn't heard of the book before he was born so I didn't try the schedule until his 3rd week of life and his Mia and Papa are coming next week, so really he has only had one week of Baby Wise parenting.
I just pray every day that God will give me the wisdom I need to be the best mother I can be to Lincoln. I know that babies have been around forever and that they turned out just fine before all of these theories, so I am trying to trust my instincts and know that God is in control!
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6 comments:
"I just pray every day that God will give me the wisdom I need to be the best mother I can be to Lincoln. . . .so I am trying to trust my instincts and know that God is in control!
That is so true. . . YOU are the mother God gave to your baby, and LINCOLN is the baby who God gave to you.
Btw, we've adopted what we've termed "grandparents' rules." Basically, when we visit the grandparents, whatever the grandparents want, goes! Of course, we have reasonable and sane grandparents--but extra chocolates and fewer naps and so forth are the rule of the day when grandparents are around. And babies and parents and grandparents have done just fine with that. . . Let everyone enjoy each other!
You are a wonderful MOMMY! Lincoln told me so!! Raising him with which ever theory you pick will be fine, because we know you will always seek God's guidance and he will never fail us. Keep up the good work, you're doing a wonderful job. Just take one look at that beutiful baby's face, you know your doing a good job. Love Grandma Maga
PS I agree with the "Grandparents"rules!! Grandma Maga
Mel,
It sounds like you're doing a great job and aborbing and dismissing advice as it comes along. I am sure you will find methods and routines that work best for both of you! You're a fabulous mother and Lincoln is so happy to have you (and Eli!)
Love,
K
Melissa, you are an EXCELLENT mother! Don't let theories make you question that. The fact that you're questioning what is best for Lincoln proves that! After a while, he will get the routine down no matter what theory you choose. As for sleeping through the night, just remember that when they are toddlers, they will have a mind of their own. Even at six months, Remington tries to dictate what he needs but mothers do know best. Hang in there. Let me know when we can come visit. lyt, Tawnya
I think you are doing a great job. Let me know if you want to get together with another new mom who is just trying to figure out what works best. Logan and I would love to visit.
Brie
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